I'll let you in on a little secret: there's always another way to get things done. For example, how to get money.

Early on, I realized that when people needed money, they just did what they're supposed to do: get a job and then go in debt to buy a car and a house. I never did any of those things. Whenever I needed money, I just got it.

No, I didn't walk into a bank and say "Stick 'em up." Instead, I did the smart thing and got other people to give it to me.

For example, here's my latest method. I got as many credit cards as I could get my hands on and maxed them out. That was the easy part—every credit card company wants you to have their credit card.

Then, I got on the internet, bought accreditation as a financial advisor, and started an investment company. I chose a "substantial" name for my company and started buying ads on Google. Whenever anybody typed in one of my keywords—any word having to do with money or investing—my ad would pop up. The ad said "we" were a substantial investment company, but of a different kind: "we only make money when you make money."

Do you get the trick? It's obvious, if you think about it. Whenever my ads got somebody to transfer money into my investment company, I invested their money in the wildest, most ridiculous (but currently hot) stock on the market. And guess what? Although most of those fly-by-night companies went bust, sometimes even the worst dog does come in a winner. Whenever a stock's price shot up, I quickly sold it and paid off the lucky winners.

Most of my investors lost money, but they had no real complaint; I had legitimately invested their money in a hot stock that had, unfortunately, simply run out of steam. Too bad.

On the other hand, the lucky winners were so happy with their profits, they invested more and told their friends about my investment company, providing me with even more investors. The money started rolling in.

Now, you might be wondering where I was investing all that money I was making. Was I also investing in those "hot" stocks? Not on your life. Every penny I made, I put into gold in the form of genuine gold coins minted by the U.S. Mint. Easy to store, easy to transport, and easy to convert into cash at any collectible coin store with no questions asked.

But get too much of anything, and chances are you'll end up with problems. I ended up with some of the investment losers complaining to the authorities. The last thing I wanted was the authorities digging into my background and my phony accreditation, so I did what the big guys do: declare bankruptcy.

I then used some of my gold coins to start a new life. It only took one gold coin to get a guy to forge me a new identity based on some newborn baby that had been born and died the same year I was born. A few more gold coins bought me a great used car that the guy said could not be traced. Another gold coin bought me a heavy duty safe to safely hold the rest of my gold coins. I chained the safe into the trunk of my new car, and hit the road.

My first stop was at the shop of local collectible coins dealer. I put a handful of gold coins into my pocket and went right in.

They gave me the going price for my gold coins, and I walked out of that coin dealer's store with a pocketful of cash.

I had a new identity and plenty of money in my pocket. What I didn't have was a car. My new car was gone. Damn. That guy that sold me the car told me it couldn't be traced. I guess I should have thought more about what that meant. I wonder how many times he'd sold and then stolen back that same car. I bet he was really surprised to find a safe full of gold coins in the trunk.

Oh well, I've had to start over before. I'd better use the cash I've got in my pocket to start a new investment company. I wonder what I should name this one.