The teller says, "No, no, sir, if you are trying to rob this bank, you are going about it in the wrong way. Alarms are not pressed with hands, they are pressed with feet. I suggest you just turn around and leave before you get yourself in big trouble."

The robber said, "Listen, lady. The gun in my pocket is real. If you don't want to get shot, give me all the money in your drawer. Right now!"

"Sir, that statement proves once again that you don't know what you are doing. If I remove all the money in the cash drawer, it will set off a silent alarm. The police will catch you before you get to your car."

"Hey, lady, I don't have a car. I don't have nuthin. Just gimme some money."

"Well, with the way you use the English language, I'm not surprised you don't have any money. It would be a significant challenge for you to get a job using such language. And look at the note you handed me. Not only will it have your fingerprints on it, you've used the word 'got' inappropriately. It's a past-tense verb, but your intent was to inform me that you currently have a weapon in your pocket. And if you are going to use 'em' as a colloquial shorthand for the third person plural pronoun "them,' then you have to place an apostrophe in front of it. To denote the omission of letters in the word."

"Jesus, lady, I can't believe you're gonna stand there and risk your life by given me an English lesson."

"What I'm doing is helping save your life. Undoubtedly, you were planning to tell me to place cash in that bag you are holding. Of course, I would have placed a dye pack in the bag along with the money. It would soon drench the money in a bright color to indicate it was stolen. You might have confronted the police for no reason. The money could not be spent."

"Okay, lady, I've had it with you. Put the money in this bag right now. And no dye pack or other tricks."

"If that's what you want, sir. I am putting most of the money from my cash drawer in your bag. But take note that I'm shaking my head as I do it. It's an indication that I do not believe taking the money out of this bank is the best course of action for you."

"Oh, yeah, why not?"

"Because every action I take is observed by a hidden camera. The silent alarm has undoubtedly already been sent."

"So, are those sirens I'm hearing coming for me?"

"Undoubtedly."

"Can't I just give the money back before they get here?"

That would be your best course of action. But then, there is the note. You might be able to say it was some kind of joke. Of course, that assumes you don't really have a weapon in your pocket."

"A gun? Naw, I don't even own a gun. I just needed the money real bad. Here, take the money back."

"Good. I'll put it back into my cash drawer."

"Uh, what do I do now?"

"I suggest you stay right where you are until the police get here. Then, you should raise your hands high into the air and keep them there. The police will tell you to lie on the floor with you hands spread out to the sides. I suggest you do that promptly. And don't make any sudden moves."

"Okay, I'll do that. So, we can just pretend the robbery never happened?"

"I'm afraid you have another problem. The note."

"Oh, right. What do you suggest I do about that?"

"Eat it."

"Eat it? You mean I should eat the note?"

"Yes, and I suggest you do it quickly, because here they come."