This story is about snow leopards.

No, actually, it isn't; it's a story about me telling you what I'm learning about snow leopards.

Actually, that's not true either; it's story about me trying to think of a story to submit to a literary magazine that said they wanted postmodern stories.

I looked that up on the internet and found out a postmodern story is a story that challenges traditional narratives and explores discontinuity or non-linearity.

That was no help.

But it also said a postmodern story might be self-referential.

I looked that up, and found out it is a work of fiction that exhibits the author's self-conscious awareness of what he or she is creating, and/or of the writing techniques he or she is using.

Okay, I can do that, so here goes: (By the way, notice I ended that introduction with a colon. A colon is used to introduce something; in this case, the colon is telling you I'm about to start telling you my story—oh, and the semicolon I just used as part of the introduction is used to join two related independent clauses—the implication is for you to not stop reading the sentence, but instead, keep on reading as if it was one sentence about two related things—by the way, the em dash (I like em dashes) I just used (three times) can function like a comma, but in this case, I used it to let you know I'm about to give you supplemental facts.)

But maybe you don't care about any of that. Maybe you just want me to get on with the story. Okay, here goes. (See there, no colon this time—no more distractions—except I guess my apology—set off with em dashes—is also a distraction, isn't it?—so, sorry again.)

Anyhow, the snow leopard, I've learned, is a species of large cat in the genus Panthera of the family Felidae that lives in the very high rocky mountains of Asia.

What that definition doesn't tell you is that snow leopards are very, very cute, like a big cuddly stuffed leopard toy (sort of white but covered all over with brownish spots that are sort of reddish—I wish I could attach a picture) you might win at the fair by knocking over some white-painted milk bottles (what they don't tell you is that they are not "real" milk bottles, but are actually fake milk bottles made out of concrete or something, and they are really, really heavy and really, really hard to knock over—believe me, I know.)

(Sorry, I did it again, didn't I, putting in even more distracting information. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to give you the complete picture.)

The fact that the snow leopard is very cute is the good news; the bad new is that they are on their way to becoming extinct. Now I will explain why that is: (Notice the colon, which again, tells you the explanation will follow.)

Here goes the explanation: (see the colon). You might think living at such high rocky altitudes would make life really hard for snow leopards. Well, it is. The only other animal that lives in such a high rocky place is the Asian ibex (a type of mountain goat). The problem for the snow leopard is that the Asian ibex is unbelievably sure-footed. That means the snow leopard also has to be very sure-footed to catch one of them in order to get something to eat. Whereas on the grassy plains of Africa the contest between the hunter and the hunted is all about stealth and speed, in the high rocky mountains of Asia, a hunted ibex survives by being more sure footed than the snow leopard. So, over time, they've probably gotten even more sure-footed. Thinking logically, the fact that snow leopards are becoming extinct must mean they're not keeping up, not learning to be as sure-footed as the Asian ibex. At least that's what I think. Don't you agree?

At this point, you may be wondering what the plot of this story is. Well, at this point, I am too, so just now, I looked up on the internet "Does a postmodern story have to have a plot?" It said yes, but the plot can be about the way the story is told. It can also be about the relationship the storyteller establishes with the reader.

So, what do you think? Have I created a postmodern story and/or have I established a relationship with you? I sure hope so. Well, that's the end of my story. See ya.